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IAS 69: Accounting for Girlfriends

10 Oct

Objective:
The objective of IAS 69 is to prescribe the accounting treatment for girlfriends. The principal issues are the timing of recognition of a female friend as a girlfriend, the number of days the relationship can be carried on and any write down in this romantic relationship. It also provides guidance on the methods to be employed to make girlfriend.

Scope:
This IAS applies to all girlfriends except those whose father, brother, ex-boyfriends or prospective boyfriends are working in police, army, intelligence agencies or political organizations or six feet tall, have muscular body and know kung fu, judo or any other marshal art.

Definitions:
The following terms are used in this Standard with the meanings specified:

LOVE is a serious mental disease, mostly found in old Indian movies, dramas and Shakespearean literature.
FLIRTING is the modern form of love; this disease came from Hollywood movies, new Indian movies, internet, mobile phones, and English literature.
MARRIAGE is a long term liability as a result of PAST events that is expected to be settled by increasing the population, decreasing the health and money.
GIRL FRIEND is a current asset as a result of past efforts and events that is probable to generate future dates, physical contact and gifts. If not properly handled may become long-term liability i.e. wife.
BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE is the present value of the future dates that a boyfriend expects to realize from continuing use of the girlfriend over its useful life and from its disposal to his another friend at the end of the flirting term.
FLIRTING TERM is the higher of the following:
-from your first conversation till the time the girlfriend father catches you
-from the time of your first date till your girlfriend get married with another person ,in which case she will become your ex-girlfriend
-from the time of your first date till you get married with your girlfriend, afterward it will become a suffering term.

RECOGNITION
A girl shall be recognized as a girl friend if, and only if:
(a) it is probable that future physical benefits associated with the girlfriend will flow to the boyfriend,
(b) no possibility of girlfriend becoming a long term liability (wife) exists and
(c) the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc ) can be measured reliably Female Cousins, younger sisters, and other female friends associated with the girlfriend should not be recognized. However, beautiful and bold ones should be declared in the flirting statement if and only if it is probable that they are expected to result in prospective girlfriends.

MEASUREMENT OF USEFUL LIFE OF GIRLFRIEND
All the following factors shall be considered in determining the useful life of a girlfriend:
(a) Expected “usage” of the girlfriend.
(b) Expected “physical” wear and tear, which depends on “operational” factors such as the number of “shifts” the girlfriend is to be used.
(c) Technical or commercial obsolescence arising from changes in fashion or “service output” of the girlfriend.
(d) “Legal” or similar limits on the “use” of the girlfriend.

DERECOGNITION

The girlfriend shall be derecognized:

1. at the end of the useful life of girlfriend or flirting term whichever is earlier,
2. when no future benefits are expected from her or her disposal or 3.
3. when remote possibility of girlfriend becoming long term liability occurs.

DISCLOSURE

The flirting statement shall disclose, for each “class” of girlfriend:
a) Total number of girlfriends with:
-age of girlfriend
-complexion, face cut
-the useful life of each girlfriend
-email address, residential address and mobile no. of each girlfriend
-any “special” benefits that may have been derived from the girlfriend
b) A reliable estimate of the boyfriend regarding no. of expected girlfriends for each class of girlfriend.
c) A reliable estimate of the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc) for each class of girlfriend.

And we will send you a copy of a disclaimer.

SOURCE: Accountancy Students (United Kingdom) and AccountacySA (may 2009, issue)

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30 Comments

Posted by on October 10, 2010 in Business

 

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30 responses to “IAS 69: Accounting for Girlfriends

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  8. Shamim

    April 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    This was hilarious! I love love.

     
  9. Khomotjo

    April 30, 2012 at 11:56 am

    Yhoooo hahaha great!!! Amazing because it’s related to your profession!

     
    • Dumi-rocks

      April 30, 2012 at 12:40 pm

      Thanks. It is related to my profession indeed!!!

       
  10. mimie mukundu

    June 6, 2012 at 12:34 am

    LMAO

     
  11. Thoriso Matebane

    August 22, 2012 at 4:34 am

    i mst thorough nd insightful efforts hv bin put 2gether 2 hv dis “standard”
    compiled, kinda takes out da dullness in accounts, big upz! (^_^)

     
    • Dumi-rocks

      August 22, 2012 at 10:04 am

      There is humour in everything.

       
  12. Martie

    August 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Oh my word!!! I’m at work after hours and reading this specific insert to your blog. Being an auditor myself, I laughed so hard, I had to read it to the whole office!!! AWESOME!!!

     
    • Dumi-rocks

      August 22, 2012 at 11:50 pm

      For me this standard demystify the myth that accountants and auditors are pretty dull people in grey suits.

      Enjoy this!!!

       
  13. Sheldon Kuppan

    August 22, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    This is my favorite standard!!!

     
    • Dumi-rocks

      August 22, 2012 at 11:47 pm

      Seemingly, it is everyone’s favourite. Is it easy to apply?

       
  14. Khomotso Masethe

    August 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    u r very creating chief, “o bosso”. kwaaaakz

     
  15. thacourtjester

    August 24, 2012 at 8:57 am

    Good to know the stereotype of a boring accountant is slowly getting phased out. Good read…

     
    • Dumi-rocks

      August 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm

      Accountants are becoming as cool as cucumber now!

       
      • stewart

        April 9, 2013 at 5:55 am

        Hahaha that’s good Dumi wicked i love it………just to add for every past transaction there is a need to make a provision so IAS 37 comes in on the marriage. The results are kids and if ur not lucky divorce kikikikikikikikiki can’t stop laughing u made my day Dumi

         
      • Dumi-rocks

        April 24, 2013 at 9:28 pm

        I am happy that this post made you laugh. Let’s look at the possibility of making other IAS. It should be cool!

         

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